It’s a problem we face every year as E3 winds itself down on the last day. All the big stuff’s covered. You’ve taken care of all the staples and the big surprises, but you don’t want your last game of the show to be Super Licensed Migraine 3D. No, you want to go out on an epic note.
On Thursday, I had five minutes left of my Nintendo booth tour before I had to catch my 3:30 flight to my hometown of Canadia (eh?). We’d covered Pikmin, Beyond, Resident Evil, Assassin’s Creed, and most of the other stuff our readership is salivating for. I had time for exactly one more game demo. What’s that on my right? Project P-100. Looks cool, but darn if Matt Ashbaugh wasn’t already playing it. Look over my shoulder—Ninja Gaiden 3? Nah, not hardcore enough. Turning around as I considered my options, I saw it: Just Dance 4.
Now this is a real man’s game.
And why is that? This game gives us men the control we so desperately crave. Two beautiful women dared me to command their every action and rate their ‘performance’. Without further ado, we put on some music and got busy. As with previous Just Dance titles, players holding Wii Remotes must follow the dance moves shown onscreen in order to get the highest score possible. This time, though, control was in my hand. With a Wii U GamePad in my hand and Moves Like Jagger blaring, I got to work giving my orders. Every few seconds, four dance moves would appear on the touchscreen, and I’d have to pick one for my puppets to perform. Watching them try to keep up and outdo one another for the sake of my pleasure was great for my ego. Once in a while, the game asked me choose who had been doing the best until then, and gave that dancer bonus points. Sorry, ‘Happy’, you may have been perky, but ‘Jazzy’ never once said ‘I am not doing that move!’
So yeah, Just Dance 4 is shaping up pretty well for those of us with an undiscovered inferiority complex, and was a great way to end my E3 2012. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta run to the bathroom for a minute.